生日快乐

不知不觉地，都到了你的生日。
原来不知不觉，也过了那么久啦。。

想对你说声生日快乐，但是你也说了要一刀两断了啦，
祝贺也变得没意义了吧。。

不懂你过得好不好，
不过如果你看到现在的我，应该会笑我吧。
呵呵。。

毕竟，我撇下了你，爱上一个，我以为我很爱的人。
我现在想想，我还是比较适合你。
我还是比较适合一个能和我在一起到永远的人。。
我感激她在这个时候抛下我。
因为就算她现在不撇下我，
终有一天她也会这样对待我的。
至少现在，我有本钱被伤害。

呵。。

现在也不懂你在干吗。。
也不懂你过得好不好。。

怎样都好。。

生日快乐。
:-)

To make you feel my love

Love is like drug. Occasional dosage is makes you happy and makes life much more fun.
Too much however, is unhealthy, thus not encouraged.

I just want someone to feel my love.
I love my life now.
Being single isn't that bad.
Being lonely isn't a good feeling.
But I learn more when I'm single.
and I can do whatever I want.

I wouldn't mind keeping my life in such way onwards.

Eine Pause por favor?

I've committed everything to you..
I helped you to put up that one last show..
to spare you from all the agony,
let alone me myself to take all the burden.
I gave you everything,
and I lost everything.
Like a loose kite,
I fly around and around,
without a clear goal.

I gave up all the strength that's left on me,
I sweat, I bled, I broke a leg,
I put on the one last show,
between you and me
I pushed myself to the limit, to the point where I never reached
I concentrated, like a panther aiming for its dinner
I gave everything I got for this one last show,
and I step down, like a gentleman
Now my time is over, but the urge to get back to the stage is still there.
Don't be foolish, cause there's no stage for a hidden plank.
Yes there's a bench, a cold bench for the one who worked.
Nothing more, nothing less.
There am I, panting, exhausted.
and there am I, not being able to lift another finger.

If I could rest right now..

停止

最后一根了啦。。最后一根了。。

一直重复又重复。。

结果还是照抽

哈哈。。

真的是上瘾啦。。

可是至少这一刻的我，可以不那么在乎。

我能给你最后的一份爱，竟然是祝福。

我终究是没办法那么狠心的破坏你们。

最真诚的祝福，然后就退场。

配角又何必痴缠着舞台呢？

不属于自己的舞台，

终究是要退场的。

歌重复又重复，

回忆一直在脑海中回响。

啊啦啦，

退场啦。。。

停啦。。。

也是时候给自己一个退路了啦。

天，

明天会更好。

一根烟

抽着那支烟的最后一口烟，静静的沉醉在那不清晰的状况下。
仔细的回想过往的一切。
要说自己今天带给自己的痛苦，只能说是自做自受。
可是又有谁能担保，当时如果不做出这样的决定，就一定不会受到今天的痛苦呢？
每一次的错误，都沉醉在悔恨当中。
而这一次，痛得比往常更痛。
可是悔恨的心情，却没这么重了。

发冷的双脚，颤抖了一下。
那烟味还残留在口中。
恶心的咳了一下，心想：我干吗抽烟啊。。
那短暂的不清晰，给了我许多的细考空间。
至少这段时间，我不必为自己的寂寞感到悲哀。

分手了，还是很在乎。
在乎得，连自己也不爱。
她为了那男人，哭了又哭。
然后我居然为了她，安慰她，还告诉她，要加油，喜欢人，就要勇敢去追求！
他妈的。。童话故事咩。。
自己也不懂自己在干吗。。
 连着来的，是肚子疼。
心都不在了，我居然还期望着，如果我待在她身边，她终有一天会回来。

所以这根烟，是非常重要的。
这根烟告诉我，烧了，走了，就不再回来了。
沉醉在过去，只会让自己痛苦。
接受吧。
烟也烧完了。放手吧。
永别了。

My love

Dear Love,

You were special to me. Always so special.
We can play like friends, and still love like couples ,we were so connected, because we were so alike. We are immature. There's nothing else I can give you any more, and I'm outta your life. When you easily gave away the love that we used to share, only then I realized that, I never was the one meant to you. It hurts a lot, almost kills me. Because it is a mistake. And through mistake we will grow up, even if I don't want to. Love was always so special. The sweetest and the most special of the love always happens when we are immature. But immature always cause trouble and mistakes, mistakes that will hurt us forever. I loved you with all my heart, I used to think that you are the one that I will spend my entire life with, because you were so special to me. I tried to save this love with every effort I have, but in the end I realized, there's nothing else  I could do, because you already given that love away. My love burdened you, and that's the reason I lose you. I can't contact you, because I couldn't fit into your life any more. I can't give you anything any more, because there's nothing left any more. I bid you farewell, and hope you will be happy forever. Take care.

Love,
Dada

德国的生活

有一阵子，都不再更新部落格了。
变得越来越不喜欢抒发情绪。
也不喜欢说三道四。简单来说，变得更沉闷了吧。
但越不抒发，反弹得越是可怕。反效果更大。变得有点愤世嫉俗去了。
可能真的不该把心事收在心里吧。

好久都没更新了，这次来谈谈德国吧~

德国，一个名副其实有纪律的国家，到处都是牌子标志，明确的指示，准时的巴士，以及有条理的时间表。这就是德国。睡觉时间也比其他欧洲国早。学生也跟亚洲的读书仔kiasu心态有得比，我还稍微输了点（kiasu)，真是和我想象中的欧洲人有点出入。
单单学习方式，就大大不同了。

carpe diem

Wish I could go back to the times, where I could always act like a kid.
Wish I never make all these decisions, wish I never have to make decisions.
Now you cut me out of your life,
Now I lose something I dear,
I finally get to feel all the pain, that you once felt before.
I'm sorry, for what I've done to her.
I'm sorry, for what I've done to the another her,
Cause I finally felt the pain I induced on both of you,
from this her.
And I finally can pull myself up, and tell you two,
I'm really sorry.
But this sorry isn't necessary to reach you both
Because I trust you two had found someone that knows how to cherish hearts,
just like you two.
and after feeling the pain from you two,
and learn the pain,
I grow a little more..
just like I always wished to.
But at what price?

The least I can do now,
is to do something for the society.
So that everything I gave away,
worth while.

Creep+Perfect

I'm a creep..
What the hell you are searching for?
Enclosed room.
You don't belong to anyone.
What makes you think of me?
Whatever you one.
You're so fucking special.
But I'm a creep.
What the hell am i doing here?
I don't Belong here,
But i'm a creep....

I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
but you don't understand.
Cause we lost it all, nothing last forever
im sorry i cant be perfect.

不坚强

到最后我还是不够坚强。泪水还是潺潺的流下。
还要被自己最憎恨的人，追加安慰的言语。
恨就恨自己狠不下心来，干脆的结束一切。
恨就恨我自己，还是要有所留恋。因为我心软。