My oath

This is the last time I'll stay up overnight, to ease my pain.
It makes me feel pain.
The hot weather numbs my feelings.
How many nights had passed?
sleepless night.
wearing out myself.
my soul,
and my body.
and yet, I still can't feel the release.
so captivating
i'm drunk in past
with full of imaginations and possibility,


Throwing thorns on others,
when I'm still wearing the thorn crown.
The pain i should wear,
Eases by imagining the others wearing it,
when I'm dangling around with it.
showing off around,
fooling around,
laughing around,
with my wicked crown.
Hell yeah i love my crown.
hang it around without a frown...
without hearing her sound.
just trying to hurt,
hurt everyone else...
how i wish i could sleep once more...
why i couldn't just have a sound sleep...
can't i stop another recollection?
or i just doesn't have any choice anymore?
to face my mistake
i wish i could have run
just trying to hide.
all by myself...
on my shoulders.

heads are blowing with dreams,
sweet dreams resembles the worst nightmare
when what suppose to be there isn't
can I start again?
can i go back and undo this?
I just have to stay,and face my mistake,
when i get stronger and wiser,
i'll get through this...
I have to start forgetting these
and how many times will it take for me
to get it right?
all on my shoulders...
my best intentions are the poison
my ignorance are the remedy
well if i get stronger and wiser,
i'll get through this.
If i get stronger n wiser....
just wanna have no more mess...
but how many times will it take?
to not hurt anymore...
and to not be forgotten.
sleepless night worn me out
but at least it eases the pain..
but this is the last time...
to be sleepless...