德国的生活

有一阵子，都不再更新部落格了。
变得越来越不喜欢抒发情绪。
也不喜欢说三道四。简单来说，变得更沉闷了吧。
但越不抒发，反弹得越是可怕。反效果更大。变得有点愤世嫉俗去了。
可能真的不该把心事收在心里吧。

好久都没更新了，这次来谈谈德国吧~

德国，一个名副其实有纪律的国家，到处都是牌子标志，明确的指示，准时的巴士，以及有条理的时间表。这就是德国。睡觉时间也比其他欧洲国早。学生也跟亚洲的读书仔kiasu心态有得比，我还稍微输了点（kiasu)，真是和我想象中的欧洲人有点出入。
单单学习方式，就大大不同了。

carpe diem

Wish I could go back to the times, where I could always act like a kid.
Wish I never make all these decisions, wish I never have to make decisions.
Now you cut me out of your life,
Now I lose something I dear,
I finally get to feel all the pain, that you once felt before.
I'm sorry, for what I've done to her.
I'm sorry, for what I've done to the another her,
Cause I finally felt the pain I induced on both of you,
from this her.
And I finally can pull myself up, and tell you two,
I'm really sorry.
But this sorry isn't necessary to reach you both
Because I trust you two had found someone that knows how to cherish hearts,
just like you two.
and after feeling the pain from you two,
and learn the pain,
I grow a little more..
just like I always wished to.
But at what price?

The least I can do now,
is to do something for the society.
So that everything I gave away,
worth while.

Creep+Perfect

I'm a creep..
What the hell you are searching for?
Enclosed room.
You don't belong to anyone.
What makes you think of me?
Whatever you one.
You're so fucking special.
But I'm a creep.
What the hell am i doing here?
I don't Belong here,
But i'm a creep....

I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
but you don't understand.
Cause we lost it all, nothing last forever
im sorry i cant be perfect.

不坚强

到最后我还是不够坚强。泪水还是潺潺的流下。
还要被自己最憎恨的人，追加安慰的言语。
恨就恨自己狠不下心来，干脆的结束一切。
恨就恨我自己，还是要有所留恋。因为我心软。

My new year resolution

1. Learn break dance.weee..

2. Master guitar

3. Save 4000 euro

4. Travel to Ireland.

5. Take on a part time job.

6. Be a more informed and organized person.

7. Be a better person, a better friend, like Yee Wen.

“The world is not the most pleasant place. Eventually your parents leave you and nobody is going to go out of their way to protect you unconditionally. You need to learn to stand up for yourself and what you believe and sometimes, pardon my language, kick some ass.” ~Queen Elizabeth II


This quote occurs to me today. I'm afraid. I'm afraid I can't become what it takes to protect the people i love. Am I dumb? sometimes,i felt strongly that I am only good at academic. Other than that, i'm good for nothing. I'm stupid, I do things stupidly, people view me as someone stupid. They judge and doubt me before i even get the chance to prove myself. I didn't even have the time to show them what i got. Maybe i got nothing. That's why they never accepted me. I just want to protect the people i love. That's all. I don't need to win everyone around me. I don't need to win the riches, earn more than them to prove that i am more successful than them. I just want my family and people i love to have a good time when be with me, and i can always solve their problems. i dunno how to man up.ohh how i wish i chud kick asses like queen elizabeth.2. So that I could be a guy someone can rely to. I really do.

可靠

话说我从来就没有工程师的梦。
建出什么发明什么，这些从来就不在我思考范围内。
可能我对玩游戏有兴趣。
可能对数学还算拿手。
但那些都不足以激励我，推动我
去拥有一个工程师的梦。
懵懵懂懂的，因为奖学金的关系，就来到了工程师这条路。
也不是特别喜欢，但因为父亲的关系，就来到了这里。
父亲是个很典型的旧时代思想的男人。
由于那个时代文凭难取的关系，
他们都还蛮尊敬专业人士。
父亲的希望，父亲对我的期待，是可以被理解的。
去咯

一路上，看到了对工程师充满梦想的朋友，
也看到了梦想破灭的朋友。
看到没兴趣，却不得不走下去的人。
也看到，一生只想为钱工作的人。
这一路上，我一直问自己，工程师，值得吗？
我不明白。为何我要读？
随随便便一个在工厂开工经验老到的技术人员，其实也代替得了我的位置了。
所以为何，要读？为何要当工程师？
如果为了钱，那当初选择商科不是很好吗？
如果为了国家社会，那为何不读法律？
究竟为何，要走工程系？

偶然的老友费话，和与姨丈的对话，
让我慢慢有了个模型。。
或许我们的存在，就是为了解决问题而存在的吧。
只是多数是机械电子房屋类的就是了。

持续了两个月的实习在Bangi的GMI,最常听到的名句，由那些讲师口中冒出的字，就是：“money！”
六名讲师，六张脸孔，六颗脑袋，六种思想，一种对钱的观念，一个对工程师的看法。
工程师，最重要就是赚钱！其他有工程师是你错的选择，因为赚的钱不够多啊之类的。
也有就是工程师是个非常压力的工，工多薪少。
听了就一肚子气。他X的，那你当初干吗选择当工程师？你没好好调查的吗？
难道人生除了钱，没有别的了吗？难道我出生的目的，是为了赚很多很多的钱，存起来，直到要死的那天，再捐出去，就完了吗？那我来这世界干吗？
他们消极的话，没使我放弃这条路。我反而更火。

工程师，听起来粉沉闷的。
事实也是如此吧。
不过对我来说，更重要的，是一个可靠的感觉吧。
我想成为一个可靠的人，一个不管人家有什么事，我都可以帮得上，
有什么问题，我都可以解决的人。一个大家信得过的人。
一个我的家人，可以依靠的孩子。不管他们有什么问题，我都可以罩着他们的人。
科技越来越发达，谁掌握了科技的知识，任他天马行空，你也得相信他。
所以。。我想成为一个可以保护人的人，
保护家人，别被伤害。拥有知识，拥有力量
我想这就是为何，我不直接去工厂当技术人员，升级当工头，
而是读工程系吧。
我没有太大的本事。
我只想用我小小的手，保护我珍惜的人就好。