膝盖上的伤很痛。
痛得真的真的很痛。。。
痛得有点受不了。。。
昨天在球场上摔下的一跤真的很痛。
痛得我差点站不起来了。
连同我的心也被摔了下来。
有点站不起来的感觉。
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
This is killing me
can't really find something interesting to do.things are getting quite dull these days.people are ignoring me as usual.trying to find something interesting to do but somehow nothing really keep the blaze burning. been kinda enjoying blog writing however these few days...giss i somehow still love words eh...
can't figure it out why,but sometimes i feel that i could express things better through words....somehow i just can't really get how people thinks and what people really expect from us.my human relationship somehow sucks.i listen, i hear, but somehow it doesn't works.i guess things just don't always work the way you always hoped to right?but somehow i love writing words...love expressing myself through words....words are amazing...you don't see the expression of the one who is writing it.you don't see clearly his emotions right now.one could be writing a happy sentence with a thousand tears dripping down his cheeks.you don't really know someone too well via words.you can only know, how is the person you know him,through words...
也许事情就是如此这般的吧。就算不用文字，而是面对面去认识了解一个人，你就能保证你能完全认识他吗？到最后，也许你对他而言，也只不过是个陌生人而已。又或是，你只是他一生人中的一名观众，他不会记得你，你也不重要，但他要求你留下来观赏他这一生所演出的戏，因为他需要人去欣赏他的优点，凸现出你的无能。对有些人而言，观众的数量很重要，因为他要求的是掌声，他要求他所演出的一切，都能获得最热烈的掌声，被粉丝们包围，这样最好。这种人，会希望自己到处都能留下痕迹。他以帮助栽培的名义，去认识各种人，接触各种人，为的就是吸引更多观众，观赏他那自导自演的好戏。这种人，到最后伤痕累累。
有些人，自导自演，差别在于，他不介意观众数量的多少。更仔细一点，是他根本就不鸟观众。重点是他演得对得起自己，演出结束就好了。他只想做自己喜欢做的事。他不理观众的眼光，也不理自己的所做所为是否正确，他只想藉由自己的演出来凸现出其他演员的逊度。他一生人，都在看不起其他人。就连他的观众他也看不起。一名属于他的观众，并不让他快乐。他希望那些不是他的观众，成为他的。但就在那些观众真的成了他的时候，他开始看不起这种会看得起他的观众。这种人咋看之下很有原则，其实只是粪便一团。因为他最大的原则，只是为他自己着想。这种人，别当他观众比较好。
有些人，注重观众的素质。他不介意自己观众的数量少，但他希望的是找到一名知音。他对观众要求很高，因为他的观众不是只是要观赏他的演出，他会希望观众和他有所互动，观众能捉到他的默契，形成一场活动的演出。他要求很高，但是当你达到他的要求，他会把一切最好的都献给你，而且每一场演出，你都会是处于嘉宾席。这种人，总是会吃一番苦，但会找到一个属于他的最好的观众。
有些人，想当个最好的观众，却永远都只是一个，花大钱也未必能入场的无能观众，甚至会被第二种演员利用当免费跑腿的废材。。。。。
je mehr ich geschrieben habe, desto trauriger fühle ich mich. ja klar, ich bin immer eine unbekannte Person. meine kleine Vorhandensein muss zum ihre Bekanntheit dienen. außerdem muss ich zu seinem eigenen Zweck dienen, zum Beispiel, ich muss immer dich zu irgendwo fahren, weil ich dein Freund bin.ich muss immer dich begleiten, weil ich dein Freund bin.ich muss dir bei allen helfen, WEIL ICH DEIN SCHEIßER FREUND BIN. ich SCHEIßE an dich!obwohl ich hilfsreich bin, will ich nicht wie ein Dummkopf sein, alles für dich tun.aber ich schaffe das nicht...es ist noch zu schwer für mich, eine Freundschaft zu verlassen...mein Herz tut mir jeden Tag weh. meine Träne fließt wie nie...aber niemand kann mich gut verstehen...sie sehen nur,was sie mit den Augen genau beobachten können, aber haben sie genau den Verletzt meines Herzen betrachtet? eigentlich hast du auch keinen Lust, auf mich zu bemerken. du bist immer die Wichtigste, und ich muss immer dein Zuschauer sein. ich gebe dir alles, was ich schaffen oder erreichen kann,aber was ich dahingegen bekommen habe?nichts!!ich bin immer doch dein dummes Kopf und das ist alles. ich verletzt, ich gelitten, ich durchgegangen, und wer sich dafür interessiert?ich bin ewig ein Zuschauer....ich werde vergessen,wie dieselben wie die anderen Zuschauer.....wenn ich doch nur ein Vögel wäre......
被遗忘的
the forgotten
der Vergessene
can't figure it out why,but sometimes i feel that i could express things better through words....somehow i just can't really get how people thinks and what people really expect from us.my human relationship somehow sucks.i listen, i hear, but somehow it doesn't works.i guess things just don't always work the way you always hoped to right?but somehow i love writing words...love expressing myself through words....words are amazing...you don't see the expression of the one who is writing it.you don't see clearly his emotions right now.one could be writing a happy sentence with a thousand tears dripping down his cheeks.you don't really know someone too well via words.you can only know, how is the person you know him,through words...
也许事情就是如此这般的吧。就算不用文字，而是面对面去认识了解一个人，你就能保证你能完全认识他吗？到最后，也许你对他而言，也只不过是个陌生人而已。又或是，你只是他一生人中的一名观众，他不会记得你，你也不重要，但他要求你留下来观赏他这一生所演出的戏，因为他需要人去欣赏他的优点，凸现出你的无能。对有些人而言，观众的数量很重要，因为他要求的是掌声，他要求他所演出的一切，都能获得最热烈的掌声，被粉丝们包围，这样最好。这种人，会希望自己到处都能留下痕迹。他以帮助栽培的名义，去认识各种人，接触各种人，为的就是吸引更多观众，观赏他那自导自演的好戏。这种人，到最后伤痕累累。
有些人，自导自演，差别在于，他不介意观众数量的多少。更仔细一点，是他根本就不鸟观众。重点是他演得对得起自己，演出结束就好了。他只想做自己喜欢做的事。他不理观众的眼光，也不理自己的所做所为是否正确，他只想藉由自己的演出来凸现出其他演员的逊度。他一生人，都在看不起其他人。就连他的观众他也看不起。一名属于他的观众，并不让他快乐。他希望那些不是他的观众，成为他的。但就在那些观众真的成了他的时候，他开始看不起这种会看得起他的观众。这种人咋看之下很有原则，其实只是粪便一团。因为他最大的原则，只是为他自己着想。这种人，别当他观众比较好。
有些人，注重观众的素质。他不介意自己观众的数量少，但他希望的是找到一名知音。他对观众要求很高，因为他的观众不是只是要观赏他的演出，他会希望观众和他有所互动，观众能捉到他的默契，形成一场活动的演出。他要求很高，但是当你达到他的要求，他会把一切最好的都献给你，而且每一场演出，你都会是处于嘉宾席。这种人，总是会吃一番苦，但会找到一个属于他的最好的观众。
有些人，想当个最好的观众，却永远都只是一个，花大钱也未必能入场的无能观众，甚至会被第二种演员利用当免费跑腿的废材。。。。。
je mehr ich geschrieben habe, desto trauriger fühle ich mich. ja klar, ich bin immer eine unbekannte Person. meine kleine Vorhandensein muss zum ihre Bekanntheit dienen. außerdem muss ich zu seinem eigenen Zweck dienen, zum Beispiel, ich muss immer dich zu irgendwo fahren, weil ich dein Freund bin.ich muss immer dich begleiten, weil ich dein Freund bin.ich muss dir bei allen helfen, WEIL ICH DEIN SCHEIßER FREUND BIN. ich SCHEIßE an dich!obwohl ich hilfsreich bin, will ich nicht wie ein Dummkopf sein, alles für dich tun.aber ich schaffe das nicht...es ist noch zu schwer für mich, eine Freundschaft zu verlassen...mein Herz tut mir jeden Tag weh. meine Träne fließt wie nie...aber niemand kann mich gut verstehen...sie sehen nur,was sie mit den Augen genau beobachten können, aber haben sie genau den Verletzt meines Herzen betrachtet? eigentlich hast du auch keinen Lust, auf mich zu bemerken. du bist immer die Wichtigste, und ich muss immer dein Zuschauer sein. ich gebe dir alles, was ich schaffen oder erreichen kann,aber was ich dahingegen bekommen habe?nichts!!ich bin immer doch dein dummes Kopf und das ist alles. ich verletzt, ich gelitten, ich durchgegangen, und wer sich dafür interessiert?ich bin ewig ein Zuschauer....ich werde vergessen,wie dieselben wie die anderen Zuschauer.....wenn ich doch nur ein Vögel wäre......
被遗忘的
the forgotten
der Vergessene
Thursday, October 21, 2010
es ist an der zeit
tomorrow's the day of my 2nd paper of AS german exam.
and still i am blogging here.
yeah....friends had started to abandoning me....
i feel so lonely....
i feel so meaningless in my life....
the one that i love started to distance me...
the hell...
just leave me alone.....
i wun mind being all alone....
i'm sick of trying to kiss your asses.
i'm sicked of getting disappointed.
no one will give a shit even i'm dead.
so what's the point of keep on living?
when you can't even enjoy your life...
living just to survive....
yeah...they say u'll find hope as long as you survive....
but for how long will the hope last?
how long, does a shining sunset last, when it is viewed along the lonely beach?
the night before the dawn, seems endless...
i waited the whole night, to find a slight trace of sunlight, hoping to find a bright prism striking throughout the dark and bulky clouds, clearing the dead, solitude night.
but it is endless.
i'm tired.
i wanna sleep.
it's ok even i miss the dawn.
it's not like it'll arrive anyway.
i'm tired of speaking great dreams.
telling each other that we should hold tight on our dreams.
i'm sick of the disappointing friendships.
how realistic they could be.
how envious, and how complicated could it be.
the atmosphere is so infectious, so deadly,
that a pure heart will be darken in less than the count of three.
that a strong heart will be break through just like the droplets of a water penetrating the hard cement.
and only bitches, jerks, fuckers and bastards could survive in this condition.
becuz this place is meant for people like that.
and still i am blogging here.
yeah....friends had started to abandoning me....
i feel so lonely....
i feel so meaningless in my life....
the one that i love started to distance me...
the hell...
just leave me alone.....
i wun mind being all alone....
i'm sick of trying to kiss your asses.
i'm sicked of getting disappointed.
no one will give a shit even i'm dead.
so what's the point of keep on living?
when you can't even enjoy your life...
living just to survive....
yeah...they say u'll find hope as long as you survive....
but for how long will the hope last?
how long, does a shining sunset last, when it is viewed along the lonely beach?
the night before the dawn, seems endless...
i waited the whole night, to find a slight trace of sunlight, hoping to find a bright prism striking throughout the dark and bulky clouds, clearing the dead, solitude night.
but it is endless.
i'm tired.
i wanna sleep.
it's ok even i miss the dawn.
it's not like it'll arrive anyway.
i'm tired of speaking great dreams.
telling each other that we should hold tight on our dreams.
i'm sick of the disappointing friendships.
how realistic they could be.
how envious, and how complicated could it be.
the atmosphere is so infectious, so deadly,
that a pure heart will be darken in less than the count of three.
that a strong heart will be break through just like the droplets of a water penetrating the hard cement.
and only bitches, jerks, fuckers and bastards could survive in this condition.
becuz this place is meant for people like that.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
where are you?
i searched through out everywhere...
every possible corners...
i contacted any possible relatives, hoping that i could find a trace of you
i asked the sugar factory
whether they kept something sweet and awesome, which looks like you
no,they shook their head.
i searched through every automobile manufacturer,
hoping i'll found someone sleeping inside a unser.
no....
i searched through mountains and hills.
i searched BERLIN, hoping to see traces of you...
no....wae.....
i searched through everywhere....hoping to see your face....
not perfect....but always shines.....
hoping to get rammed head on, shaking all unnecessary thoughts away
get punched like a real sand bag.
i jumped from block D into the sea of emotions
hoping to search you within the skies
and inside the deep sea floor.
with no success.
i fell..
so hard, that my skull break off
ahhh....
so there you are, deep inside my thoughts.
every possible corners...
i contacted any possible relatives, hoping that i could find a trace of you
i asked the sugar factory
whether they kept something sweet and awesome, which looks like you
no,they shook their head.
i searched through every automobile manufacturer,
hoping i'll found someone sleeping inside a unser.
no....
i searched through mountains and hills.
i searched BERLIN, hoping to see traces of you...
no....wae.....
i searched through everywhere....hoping to see your face....
not perfect....but always shines.....
hoping to get rammed head on, shaking all unnecessary thoughts away
get punched like a real sand bag.
i jumped from block D into the sea of emotions
hoping to search you within the skies
and inside the deep sea floor.
with no success.
i fell..
so hard, that my skull break off
ahhh....
so there you are, deep inside my thoughts.
nyahaha....i hope you seriously glamoured the difference in this post.
was being so proud....
nyahaha...
ya i know it's lame, it's a technique that you thought me.but seeing the icon being to blink again and again makes me feel so warm....
feel like having a cuddle and huggie right now....
it's blinking like there's no tomorrow.
being a patik for your highness majesty
such a success is indeed proud enough.
i wonder what's next....
was being so proud....
nyahaha...
ya i know it's lame, it's a technique that you thought me.but seeing the icon being to blink again and again makes me feel so warm....
feel like having a cuddle and huggie right now....
it's blinking like there's no tomorrow.
being a patik for your highness majesty
such a success is indeed proud enough.
i wonder what's next....
Monday, October 18, 2010
late night blogging
seeing you getting drained day by day.
is unbearable for me.
yeah...been abandoning my blog for a few days.
out of inspirations you see....
not being too ultra emo these days...
partly due to lame exams that stressed me out.
what the heck...
i'll be there for you,
each time you need me.
and would you be there for me?
whenever wherever, will you be right there waiting for me?
don't ask why,
don't tell me how,
don't know where i am,
don't have an idea when it is now,
don't know what's waitin for me there,
just grab my and walk down the streets.
i don't need to know why,
to be a friend of yours.
just get crazy and screw the whole world,
and we'll be BFF!
woohoooo!!!
is unbearable for me.
yeah...been abandoning my blog for a few days.
out of inspirations you see....
not being too ultra emo these days...
partly due to lame exams that stressed me out.
what the heck...
i'll be there for you,
each time you need me.
and would you be there for me?
whenever wherever, will you be right there waiting for me?
don't ask why,
don't tell me how,
don't know where i am,
don't have an idea when it is now,
don't know what's waitin for me there,
just grab my and walk down the streets.
i don't need to know why,
to be a friend of yours.
just get crazy and screw the whole world,
and we'll be BFF!
woohoooo!!!
Woooohooonism rules!!!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
道理1
忽然想说起一些道理。
其实也不是道理。
只是我生活的一些原则。
我不杯葛人。
也许这和我从小被杯葛惯了的关系吧。
我讨厌被冷落。
也讨厌被杯葛。
所以我不冷落任何人。
我更不会离开任何人。
才知道社会很多这种人。
因为唯有透过欺负比自己弱小的人，
人才能凸现出自己是王者。
幼稚又有点蠢的思想，
但这就是人类咯。。。
送你一首歌吧。
第一次见面看你不太顺眼
谁知道后来关系那么密切
却总能把冬天变成了春天
我们一个像夏天一个像秋天
你拖我离开一场爱的风雪
我背你逃出一次梦的锻炼
遇见一个人然后生命全改变
原来不是恋爱才有的情节
*chorus
如果不是你我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我只是骂我几句
如果不是你我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的胸怀志意我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你
你了解我所有得意的东西
拆穿我留些意怕我忘形
你知道我所有丢脸的事情
却为我的美好形像保密
*chorus
如果不是你我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我只是骂我几句
如果不是你我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的胸怀志意我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你
*.^
其实也不是道理。
只是我生活的一些原则。
我不杯葛人。
也许这和我从小被杯葛惯了的关系吧。
我讨厌被冷落。
也讨厌被杯葛。
所以我不冷落任何人。
我更不会离开任何人。
才知道社会很多这种人。
因为唯有透过欺负比自己弱小的人，
人才能凸现出自己是王者。
幼稚又有点蠢的思想，
但这就是人类咯。。。
送你一首歌吧。
第一次见面看你不太顺眼
谁知道后来关系那么密切
却总能把冬天变成了春天
我们一个像夏天一个像秋天
你拖我离开一场爱的风雪
我背你逃出一次梦的锻炼
遇见一个人然后生命全改变
原来不是恋爱才有的情节
*chorus
如果不是你我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我只是骂我几句
如果不是你我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的胸怀志意我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你
你了解我所有得意的东西
拆穿我留些意怕我忘形
你知道我所有丢脸的事情
却为我的美好形像保密
*chorus
如果不是你我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我只是骂我几句
如果不是你我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的胸怀志意我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你
*.^
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